Tug On Your Heart
by Luvejy
Summary: Judai was like a whisper on the breeze. He came, he went. But he always returned. Judai x Johan, slight HINT of lemon!


Tug on the Heart

Disclaimer: I do not claim any rights to YuGiOh Gx. I am merely a fan that is over obsessed with some of the characters (Ok, maybe all of them…).

AN: Hey! This is KyoxSakiFan again! Okay, so my friends have been bugging me because they have like, no new Spiritshipping one-shots to read. I should probably be working on my other stories first, but I think I'll give in and write one just to make everybody happy. Also, this takes place in the 4th season (Most of my fics will now…Except for a few…But I really love how strong Spiritshipping is in the 4th season. I mean, you can feel the love radiating off these two. Seriously. I just re-watched episode 176 and when Judai's talking to Fujiwara when he claims to have forgotten Honest, "You can't ever forget the one's you love." After having a long speech about his bond with Johan, and I'm going insane on this end here. Squealing and pointing at the monitor even though I'm the only person in this room. My Spiritshipping obsession has sucked out my brain. Lol Anyway, enjoy this one-shot!!)

Warning: Contains HINT OF but not a full lemon! I'M WARNING YOU NOW!

It was night. Around midnight to be exact. The moon hung like a Christmas decoration over the water; it was the only light seen for several miles.

Everything seemed to be deserted in the dark of night, something which shouldn't be of much surprise considering what time it was, and the fatigue most occupants of the island were suffering due to recent events. However, that didn't stop a few people from enjoying the mysteries that hung in the darkness.

One such person, known as Johan Andersen, was wandering the shore. His eyes seemed to be transfixed on the water at first glance, however, in reality he was staring through the water without even acknowledging it's existence. He was lost in his thoughts, and wandered along as if in a daze. Most people would assume that the teal haired boy was merely sleepwalking, but he wasn't. He was fully conscious and aware of his actions and feelings, just not able to see past the barrier in his mind to be fully aware of their presence.

A strange sense of melancholy seemed to hang over his head, which seemed quite out of place to those who knew him personally. Usually, he was a bright and happy person, being quite enthusiastic about everything he did in life. However, there was always a limit to ones feelings, where they just can't stand to force a smile any longer.

Despite being a natural social butterfly, Johan always found a quite comfort in solitude. It allowed his thoughts to run freely, allowed him to run a thought over his tongue to test the sound without looking crazy to onlookers. He was already thought to be insane by many because of his bond with the Gem beasts; when he spoke to them he appeared to be talking to thin air. He never doubted his own sanity for a second however, especially after he met others like him.

Like Judai Yuki…

A sigh escaped his lips, but no sound filled the aching void in his chest. The silence was instead broken by the gentle rustle of the wind, carrying the sound away into the dark, as if it was never there in the first place.

'_I wonder what he's doing…I haven't seen him all day…' _

The same thought has run through his head nearly a million times that night, but he couldn't help but ponder it once more.

Despite Judai's elusiveness, his presence rang heavily in the air. Maybe it was the bond that they shared, which seemed to be closer than brothers even, or perhaps it was a natural instinct. Either way, Johan could feel that Judai was indeed nearby.

He stopped walking and turned to face the vast ocean, which was sparkling beautifully in the moonlight. The temperature was beginning to drop, and Johan unconsciously shivered, not even realizing his discomfort through the numb haze he'd forced himself into.

A lone tear ran unhindered down his face, the only indication to the bluenette's true feelings. His heart was aching, calling. It was a silent plea for help, and unknowest to him, somewhere nearby…

Another lonely heart felt the same pull on his heart, heard it's plea. And was coming to silence it.

"Why…" The whisper broke the silence, shattered the calm that he'd tried to force upon himself. Ever since he'd arrived at Duel Academy, there was barely ever a moment of peace. Apparently, it was like this all the time. But WHY?

How did they all manage to keep smiling? Throughout all the pain they've endured, all the disappointments in their lives…They've always kept a smile on their faces, no matter how small and watery they were.

Especially Judai, who had endured the most of them all. His ability to still see the light, the happiness through the dark was amazing. He truly did have the biggest heart of them all.

Johan had only endured a year at the Academy of chaos, and already he felt himself falling apart. Slowly but surely, it felt as if his life was spinning out of control. He was left standing alone on a hill, his hands desperately trying to grasp what was so easily torn away from him.

He was broken out of his daze when he felt a warmth spread across his skin, and it took him a moment to realize that it was merely a jacket set across his shoulders. He buried his icy fingers within the fabric, not having to turn around to know who was standing behind him.

"Judai…"

A small chuckle was his response, and he allowed the sound to wash over him, comforting him.

Judai's scent drifted naturally through the fabric of the jacket, and Johan absorbed it, loving the way his heart pounded against his rib cage in a foreign kind of excitement. Warm hands gently closed the space between them, wrapping around his waist and embracing him from behind.

"What are you doing out here? You're so cold…"

But he wasn't. Not anymore. He could feel Judai's hot breath fanning across the back of his neck, leaving his skin with a burning hot sensation. He shivered unconsciously, leaning back against the body behind him. "I was just thinking…"

"Hm? About what?"

The question was casual, yet laced with worry at the same time. Briefly, Johan allowed himself to wonder how long Judai had been watching him.

"Everything and nothing…Just thinking…" His answer was confusing even to himself, and he couldn't help but ponder when he had grown out of his childish way of thinking. The concept was intriguing, and he would've grasped it farther had his thoughts not been interrupted again.

"Then why were you crying?"

Johan's breath seemed to freeze in his throat, like water on a mid December morning. Despite his efforts to wash it down, he was unable to shake the tears that swamped his vision once more, a few rolling down his pale skin to land on the patch of grass he was standing on.

He put on a strong front, but in reality was he truly strong? His heart was fragile, a weak beating muscle, yet it supplied him with the power needed to survive. It was strong in a sense, it worked like clockwork, constantly pumping blood throughout his body. The second it stopped beating, he would die.

But was it strong emotionally?

"Johan…" His hold tightened, enveloping the sobbing boy into his warm embrace. Johan's heart lept, whether from surprise or excitement, he didn't know.

"Don't cry…Please." Before he could register the other's actions, he'd been turned around and was now snuggling up to Judai's slightly damp shirt, indicating that he was sweating profusely. Perhaps he had been running?

He simply let the tears flow free, having broke through the dam that previously restrained them. He drank in the musky, warm, and male scent for it merely screamed JUDAI. It comforted him, and he loved the way he was bathed in his scent.

Without realizing it, his sobs had quieted down, and he now stood quietly shaking in Judai's embrace.

"Are you okay now?" The whisper was barely audible, but Johan heard it all the same. With a shaky nod, he felt himself sink to the ground, Judai following soon after.

For a few minutes, the only sounds were the quiet lapping of the Ocean waves and Johan's raspy breathing. The silence wasn't awkward however, it was quite nice.

"I'm glad I found you."

"Hm?" Johan turned to face Judai, confusion written all over his face. "You were looking for me?"

"Yes." He breathed, beginning to shiver from the cool air. "I felt a tug on my heart, a feeling that you needed me. I guess I was right?"

He left it a question rather than a statement, waiting for his thought to be confirmed. A silent nod was his response, and a small hint of a smile made it's way onto Judai's face.

"Come on Johan, I need to see you smile. Just a small one, for me? Please?"

It was a harmless question, but it meant so much. The answers to his questions, everything.

Everybody kept smiling, because they weren't smiling for themselves. They were smiling for someone else. To brighten someone else's world, not their own.

Despite his internal conflict, a small watery smile formed on his lips. "Judai…"

'_My weakness…My Darkness…'_

He could've sworn his heart stopped when Judai wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a lop sided embrace once more.

'_My Light,…'_

"You sure you don't need your jacket back Judai?"

"Don't worry, I haven't been out here anywhere near as long as you have. I'll be fine."

'_I need you…So much…Why?'_

"Why do we have to be apart…?" The words tumbled from his mouth before he could stop them, his heart aching at the implications. He would have to leave again, and so would Judai. "Why can't we just….Just…."

Despite not finishing his sentence, Judai understood exactly what was running through his mind. "We'll…We will…I'll come back for you, I promise."

He gasped softly, not expecting Judai's words. "Promise?"

"Promise."

"Judai?"

"Yes?"

He didn't know what force made him ask it, but he asked anyway. "Will you…Kiss me?"

It was quiet for a few moments, so quiet that you could practically hear their hearts pounding loud and clear.

"Yes." Johan gasped softly when he felt Judai's hands on his shoulders, pulling him closer. They were merely an inch apart, so close that Johan could feel the warmth radiating off Judai, stomping down every last bit of cold still lingering on his skin.

Judai lifted Johan's chin gently with one hand, and slowly lowered his lips to Johan's.

Their lips fit together perfectly, like a piece of a puzzle, melded together as if they were meant to fit each other.

In a sense, maybe they were.

Feeling a strange need pulling at his skin, Johan allowed himself to relax completely in the passionate embrace, pressing his lips more firmly against the brunettes.

Judai took the chance and deepened the kiss, mapping the other's mouth with his tongue. Johan couldn't stop the moan that slipped past his lips, loving the sensations that were racing through his body. All his passion for the other boy seemed to seep through his lips into the kiss, and Judai swallowed it all without a word.

After a few moments, they broke apart, a thin trail of saliva still connecting them. Once his breath was recollected, Johan had the grace to blush for his actions. Judai he noticed, was blushing a little as well, despite his obvious attempts to hide it. It was quite cute, but seemed rather out of place on his now more mature features.

"Why did you…?" The question hung in the air, not having been finished but not having a need to be. Judai knew full well what Johan was asking.

Why did you answer my request?

"Because I wanted to. I've always wanted to."

Johan felt his face heat up even more, and despite his efforts he couldn't calm his rapidly beating heart.

"Why did you?"

Judai's question caught him off guard, and the blush spread farther across his cheeks. "Deep down…I've always…Desired…I wanted…I WANT…"

He didn't need to finish. Judai nodded, showing that he understood what Johan was trying to say. It was embarrassing for Johan to say the least. He practically had taken his heart out of his chest and lain it in front of the brunette, showing it's innermost depths and feelings.

Despite the fake disguise he'd put on before, deep inside his heart always had desired Judai as more than a friend. The connection he felt the first time they touched, the feelings that overwhelmed him whenever they were together…

There just wasn't a way to ignore that.

He knew it wasn't lust, not entirely anyway. The bond they shared, it was far deeper than that.

He needed Judai, cared for him more than anyone in the world. He would walk through hell and back for him.

It had been the day he'd realized this, that he realized he had fallen in love with his best friend.

Despite having decided to ignore his feelings, there were some moments where he couldn't help but allow them to shine through. The current time being one such moment.

"No matter what happens, I need to know you'll wait for me Johan…Can you do that?"

Emerald green met stunning chocolate, absorbing every emotion in those beautiful eyes. That's when he realized.

Judai loved him, but he couldn't say it. Not yet. Not until he could devote himself to him, and only him. Until he could prove his worth of love.

Johan smiled gently to show he understood, allowing the words to slip past his lips despite knowing they would not be spoken in return. "I love you Judai…"

"I know."

That was all he needed. As long as Judai was aware of his feelings, could grasp onto them when he needed reassurance. That was all that he asked for. However, despite this, he couldn't help but feel a little selfish.

"Judai…I know you can't say it…But…Can you…Just for tonight…Show me?"

Judai's eyes seemed to widen a little out of surprise before settling back to their normal state, absorbing the shock and implications of his request.

After a moment, Judai responded. "Of course…" He bent to kiss Johan, only to be stopped by a hand pressing against his lips. "Not here…Let's go to the clearing beyond the trees. Nobody will accidentally see us there."

"Okay…" He breathed, his thoughts racing a mile a minute. Grasping Johan's hand gently, he pulled them to their feet and they walked hand in hand to their appointed destination.

"Do you know how long Judai…?" Knowing it would take a few minutes to reach the clearing, Johan decided to voice some of the questions rolling on the edge of his tongue. Judai shook his head 'no', causing his heart to sink a little deeper in his chest.

There was no way he could stop Judai from leaving, this he knew for a fact. However, the thought of not seeing him for so long hurt as much, if not more, as the first time he considered the fact. When he realized that he would have to go back to North Academy at the end of his transferred year at Duel Academy.

His heart had ached severely then, as it did now. But he forced it down for Judai's sake, regaining his composure just as they entered the clearing.

The moon shone brightly down upon the vast land, as if blessing their love. The thought was comforting for Johan, and a smile worked itself onto his face.

"Johan? Would you like to dance with me?"

Johan laced their fingers together, stepping forward so Judai could wrap his arms around him. "Yes."

They could have danced for a few minutes or a few hours. Somewhere along the line the concept of time had seemed to fade away, their heads too full of the other to notice. After slow dancing for a little bit, Judai wrapped his arms around Johan's hips to still him, sending him a silent message through his eyes as he pulled him closer.

Johan read this message easily, and leaned over to plant a kiss on Judai's lips.

Judai ensnared his lips with his own, not allowing the other to pull away. His hands shook slightly with suppressed emotion as they trailed designs absentmindedly along Johan's skin. The moan Johan emitted was barely audible, but it pleased the brunette just the same. His lips trailed lower, tasting every inch of what was his. He wanted to drink in every scent, every taste and every touch. Everything about his lover. It would give him something to hold onto, a reason to live, and a reason to return.

A person to return to.

"I need you…" He breathed against the flushed skin of Johan's neck, kissing the skin that had grown quite pale ever since he went back to Europe. A small whimper escaped the other's lips, wordlessly answering his call.

No, it wasn't lust. Was it passion? Maybe. But overall…

It was love.

Johan tried not to shiver when his vest and shirt was softly removed, discarded on the grass below them. Judai pulled them down gently, using his jacket as a make shift blanket to cushion them. It wasn't until Johan's now bear back pressed against the warm fabric of the jacket that he realized just how cold it was, but he chose to ignore it.

He looked deeply in Judai's eyes, and the following warmth was all that he needed.

Judai bent down to press his lips against Johan's, absorbing the feel of his lover.

……………….

It wasn't until several hours later when the sun arose when Johan opened his eyes to find himself alone on the 'blanket'. It took a moment for it to sink in, but when it did he felt the tears well up in his eyes.

He didn't even say goodbye.

**3 years later…**

Johan had returned to his home afterwards, not having any reason to stay at Duel Academy any longer. He went about his normal life, fighting down the ache in his chest when he realized he was still alone every morning.

It wasn't until one night when he was walking home from the grocery store that he felt it.

A small tug on his heart, the feeling pulling him towards the docks.

His heart swelled with hope, despite his efforts to squash it down. Despite the chilly night air, Johan wandered around aimlessly until he reached the docks, his feet carrying him to the edge.

He could have stood there for a few minutes or a few hours, he couldn't tell. But slowly, the feeling in his heart grew stronger…

Until…

Gentle arms wrapped around him from behind, and the tears pooled in his eyes.

"You…Came back…"

"Of course…"

The words were like a whisper on the breeze, almost carried away, yet Johan grasped onto them and held them for dear life.

"I love you, and I'll never leave you alone again."

He never did.

**AN: Okay, I know this is probably not what you people were expecting and are probably gonna kill me for not putting the full lemon in. But I decided that this was better for the atmosphere I wanted in the story. Does anybody else feel that? Seriously. Anyway, R & R.**


End file.
